It's Your Choice — Vote

an absurd farce in one act


June 2024

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”
—Voltaire


Characters: a woman, her partner, 2 cops

Scene 1: Living Room

Woman sitting in front of a large screen television displaying:
It's Your Choice — Vote!

Underneath and to the left: an unflattering caricature of Joe Biden with caption:
Genocide Joe “That's What Great Nations Do” Biden.

Underneath and to the right: an unflattering caricature of Donald Trump with caption:
Dystopian Donald “Grab 'em By the Pussy” Trump.

There's a knock on the door. Woman opens. Two cops are at the door.

Cop 1: Hands woman a clipboard with a ballot, “It's time for you to vote, ma'am.”

Woman: Refuses clipboard, “I'm sorry. They are both so disgusting. I can't vote for either one.”

Cop2: “You have to choose. It's the law.”

Woman: “No, they both make me want to vomit.”

Cop1: “If you won't vote, we'll have to place you under arrest. It's the law, you know.”

Woman: “No! They are both inhuman monsters.”

Cops handcuff woman, lead her to the police car, place her in back seat and drive away.

Scene 2: Room in Police Station

Room is empty except for a waterboard and a small table with a pitcher of water.

Cop1: Hands woman the clipboard. “This is your last chance. Will you vote?”

Woman: “No! Never!”

Cop2: “Don't say we didn't warn you.”

Cops strap woman to waterboard.”

Cop2 pours water down her nose.

Woman screams, gags and chokes.

Cop1: “Will you vote now?”

Woman: “Never! They are worse than devils. They're not even human.”

Cop2 sighs and pours more water down woman's nose.

Cop1: “Hate to lose another registered voter.”

Woman screams and chokes.

Scene fades.

Scene 3: Bedroom

Woman thrashing around in bed still screaming and choking.

Partner: Walks in and shakes woman gently. “Wake up, dear. You're having another nightmare.”

Woman: Sits up in bed. Looks at partner. “I dreamed they were torturing me trying to make me vote for either Biden or Trump. Thank God it was only a dream.”

Partner: “Are you sure it was only a dream?”

Woman: “I can vote for anyone I choose or choose not to vote for anyone.”

Partner: “Do you really believe that?”

Woman gets glazed look in her eyes as scene fades.

Scene 4: Living Room

Like Scene 1 but with written message on television screen with voice over:

A Public Service Announcement From Your Democracy Council

###


Note 1: Here is the Voltaire quote above in its original form:

Qui est en droit de vous rendre absurde est en droit de vous rendre injuste.

Note 2: This farce is not copyrotten and in any case you have permission from the author (that's me) to take this farce and do with it as you see fit.